Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Random Acts of Being

Strange times, these are ......
Out of the stagnation and frustration of mercury retrograde and into the chaos of ever-changing spring.

My silence in blog world usually means I'm processing a heavy load of personal stuff - some good, some confusing, some sad. Stuff put aside that returns for deeper understanding.

My Altar is inaccessible ... sharing a room with my art supplies, laundry, office storage, houseplants, store fixtures, clothing closet .... I dream of an art studio/loft ... I live in a town that has none ..... I dream of a place where women meet, a temple ....

I am again processing the strange abuses I attracted for two years of my life. Stalkers, psychos, mental illness, men who wished to own the light that shined inside of me ... or extinguish it. A dark time on the edge of crazy where you truly understand the separateness that is a woman's reality.

It rains here, and keeps raining. Rains that saturate the ground and then move it from underneath you. Rains that fill the canyons, rivers, streams, dikes and then spill over into fields, barns and homes. The slugs rule the gardens and spring greens. The birds still sing in the trees as if they see the sun beyond the heavy dark clouds. From someone's misfortune the big river brings to my shores great treasures of weathered wood for projects that need doing around the place.

I've been making things with my hands. Changing my relationship with food. Understanding what I won't do for money. Taking care of my needs first.

While I'm grateful for the loved ones in my life, I really need to get away for a little while.

that's enough random thoughts for now,

Embracing all the dark, light and in-between  ....
BB

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